Eulogy
for Mom
Thelma
Blackstone
February 13, 1944-June 15, 2012
February 13, 1944-June 15, 2012
For
as long as I can remember, whenever anyone has asked me whom I most admire, or
who is the most influential person in my life, or who is my hero, my answer has
been “my mom.” I’ve tried to put into words why this is, and I’ve found it
difficult. It all sounds so trite on paper in light of who she was and what she
meant to me.
She was wise,
gentle, loving, and curious about the world, and I admired those traits about
her most. She loved all people, not just those who looked like her or experienced
life in the same way she did. Differences in cultures and beliefs didn’t scare
her, they interested her. I’m not sure what scared her, if anything. She embraced
life as it came. She loved going out and doing things, taking my sister and me,
and later our children, along for the fun.
Together we went to countless plays, musicals, concerts, fairs, movies,
teas, exhibits, tours, and fun classes. She also loved parties, attending them
as well as throwing them. Her favorite parties involved costumes.
I admired the way
she balanced work and family life. She went to college for the first time when
my sister and I were little, eventually earning her Bachelor of Science degree
in nursing. I remember Dad was so proud of her 4.0’s. As a nurse, she was
well-respected and loved and became nurse manager for a time. After she got
sick, we met more than one nurse who had worked with her at the Salem Hospital,
and they all spoke of her fondly. One of them said, “She was the best boss I
ever had.” I’m sure many more felt that same way. But despite her dedication to
her job, she was still actively involved in the lives of my sister and me. We
didn’t ever feel neglected or in her way. We were treasured daughters to the
end.
Even toward the
end of her life, she was a hero. She tried so hard to continue doing the things
she was used to doing, even when her body and mind would no longer cooperate.
It would have been easier for her to sit down and stop trying, but she was
determined to keep going. While it is common for people with her condition to
become angry and hostile, Mom remained consistently loving and gentle as she
always had been. She is my inspiration for who I most want to be like.
I always knew my
mom was a hero, but through this experience I learned that I was actually
raised by two heroes. My dad’s dedication to Mom these past few years has been
nothing short of heroic. I’ve read about love like that before and have
probably seen it in a few movies, but with this experience, I saw it played out
before my very eyes. I want my dad to know how deeply grateful I am for how
lovingly he treated Mom during her illness, caring for her physical and
emotional needs and doing everything he could to preserve her dignity.
I’m also grateful
to my aunts, uncles, and cousins who have been so supportive during this time,
especially Aunt Lorene who gave so much of her time to Mom. I’m grateful to
Dad’s church family and mine for all their love and support, as well as friends
and co-workers. And I’m grateful to the staff at Farmington Square who so
lovingly cared for Mom since September. Most of all, I’m grateful to Alan,
Mitchell, and Isaac who have been unfailingly patient, loving, and supportive
as so much of my attention lately has been on my mom.
Now I have to get
used to life without seeing her or touching her, and that’s still hard to
imagine. But she once told me something that has proven true in my life time
and time again. We were talking about my grandmas, both of whom had to bury a
young son. I told her I didn’t know how they could bear it. She said that when
I go through hard times, I’ll discover resources both within myself and
surrounding me that I didn’t even know I had. So far she’s been right, so once
again, I draw on those resources: my family and friends, and most of all, my
Lord. She’s with Him now, and the door to Heaven has been cracked a little
wider for me. When the time is right, I eagerly anticipate joining her there.
I’m sure she’s busy planning a party for me. I can’t imagine what’s on the
menu, but we’ll probably be wearing costumes.
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